RCCG Sunday School Teacher Manual 19 April 2026 – Sustaining The Chase

Biblical Context

The Song of Solomon, sometimes called the Song of Songs, is a beautiful poetic book in the Old Testament. King Solomon, known for his wisdom, traditionally wrote it. It comes from the 10th century BC. This book isn’t just about a man and a woman; it’s a deep, rich collection of love poems that many people see as an allegory for God’s love for His people, like Israel or the Church. But it’s also a straightforward celebration of human marital love and intimacy, showing us the beauty and purity of physical affection within marriage, as God intended it. It’s filled with longing, delight, and the joy of committed love between a husband and wife.

Key Word Study

Let’s look at the word “love” in Song of Solomon 1:2. The Hebrew word used here is ‘dod’ (דּוֹד). This word carries a powerful meaning beyond just general affection. In this book, ‘dod’ speaks of a deep, cherished affection, a passionate attachment, and often points to the physical expressions of love between a husband and wife. It describes that unique, intimate bond that makes two people feel connected in a very special way. It’s a love that’s rich, exciting, and meant to be shared fully within marriage. When you read “thy love is better than wine,” it’s talking about how truly satisfying and delightful this specific, intimate connection is.

Sustaining The Chase: Keeping the Spark Alive

The journey of love doesn’t end at the altar; it really just begins. Think about it like a romantic pursuit. When two people first fall in love, there’s an excitement, a passion, and a commitment that’s electric. A strong marriage needs you to keep that feeling alive, to keep “sustaining the chase.” It’s so easy for life’s routines to take over. But if you want a thriving relationship, you’ve got to put it first and make choices every day to keep that spark. You’re meant to keep dating your spouse, even after years together.

Just like the manual points out, look at Song of Solomon 1:13-17. Here, you see the lovers expressing deep appreciation and showering each other with compliments. It’s a snapshot of that sustained admiration:

Song of Solomon 1:13: A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

Song of Solomon 1:14: My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi.

Song of Solomon 1:15: Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes.

Song of Solomon 1:16: Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.

Song of Solomon 1:17: The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.

Do you see the rich words? They’re valuing each other, seeing beauty, and creating a lovely space for their intimacy. This is what you’re working toward – a relationship where both partners feel seen, appreciated, and desired.

Ways Couples Kill The Chase

Let’s be honest, we all make mistakes that can dim that flame. It’s good to see where we might be going wrong so we can fix it.

Husband’s Role

Sometimes, men change a lot after the wedding. They might go from being a loving, attentive partner to someone who seems uncaring, neglectful, or even bossy. You might find yourself doing these things:

• Prioritizing money over time: It’s easy to get caught up in making money, but sometimes that means you’re not spending quality time with your spouse. The Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon laments, Song of Solomon 5:6: “I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.” She also searches for him in Song of Solomon 3:1: “By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.” Make time for her, you won’t regret it.
• Leaving chores to your wife: You might tactically or practically leave most household chores for your wife. This makes her feel burdened, not cared for.
• Overlooking her contributions: Sometimes, men just don’t see or acknowledge their wife’s efforts in keeping the home running smoothly. Remember, 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Providing isn’t just about money; it’s about active care for the home and family.
• Stopping romance and affirmation: You might stop being romantic, forget to use words of affirmation, or speak your wife’s love language. Those little things mean a lot.
• Displaying ego: It can be hard to say “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong, but holding onto pride can hurt your relationship. 1 Peter 3:7 reminds husbands: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” Honoring her includes humility.

Wives Role

Ladies, you might look perfect when you’re dating, but after the wedding, it’s easy to fall into traps that kill the chase too. You might find yourself doing these things:

• Trying to change him: You might try to change your husband after you get married. This often leads to frustration for both of you. Proverbs 21:19 warns: “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” And Proverbs 14:1 says: “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Building your house means accepting and loving your husband for who he is, not constantly trying to remodel him.
• Nagging or criticizing: Constantly nagging or criticizing can really wear a man down. Proverbs 21:19 shows us it’s better to be alone than with someone who is always arguing. And Proverbs 27:15 adds: “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”
• Reducing physical intimacy: Drastically reducing physical intimacy can make your husband feel rejected and unwanted. Remember the intimacy called for in Song of Solomon 1:2: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.”
• Being ungrateful: Not recognizing your husband’s efforts or being ungrateful can be disheartening. Proverbs 19:13b says: “…and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.” A grateful spirit builds him up.
• Looking unkempt: Letting yourself go and looking unattractive can make your husband lose interest. The description of the desirable wife in Proverbs 5:19 says: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” This speaks to keeping yourself appealing to him.
• Being unsupportive or disrespectful: Not supporting or disrespecting your husband can really hurt his spirit. Proverbs 12:4 tells us: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” Be his crown, not his decay.

Keep The Spark Alive

A relationship isn’t a one-way street; it’s a two-way effort. You both have to put in the work to keep that glow. Here are some ways you can keep the flame burning bright:

• Communicate: Talk about your feelings, needs, and thoughts with your partner in a calm and mature way. Be a good listener, and make sure you’re both understood. Proverbs 15:23 says: “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” And Proverbs 25:11-12: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.”
• Initiate intimacy: Intimacy is key for trust and honesty. Hugging, kissing, regular sex, holding hands, and sharing secrets no one else knows – these things really help. As it says in Song of Solomon 1:2: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” Also, Proverbs 5:19: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
• Express gratitude: Saying “thank you” and showing appreciation can make good times even better and help you get through tough times. Hebrews 10:24 encourages us: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.”
• “Alone time”: Sometimes, a little “alone time” away from your partner (when it makes sense) can stop that “see-finish syndrome” – where you take each other for granted – and rekindle the fire of love. It helps you miss each other.
• Be adventurous: Go beyond just the daily grind. Take fun trips, build new experiences together like a new hobby (cooking, vacationing, running, anything!). Think of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 26:8 where Abimelech saw Isaac “sporting with Rebekah his wife,” showing their playful intimacy. And the beloved’s invitation in Song of Solomon 2:14: “O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.”
• Impress each other: Remember the things you did early in your relationship that drew your spouse to you. Maybe wear a certain scent or a color of clothing your spouse loves to see on you. Song of Solomon 4:10-11 says: “How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices. Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.” These are beautiful details that leave an impression.
• Put your phone down: Stay present when you’re together. Give your partner your full attention.
• Make laughing together a top priority: Laughter is truly good medicine for your soul and your relationship. Proverbs 17:22 says: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dryeth the bones.”
• Plan surprise dates: Don’t skip them! Try changing locations to add some variety and excitement.
• Get committed: Set goals and work them out together. Overcome challenges as a team. Build a shared vision and always put your relationship first. Amos 3:3 asks: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” You need shared purpose.

Remember, true change starts with you. You’ve got the power to make your relationship sparkle.